


When I say I love you

by SilverScaler3000



Category: Dum-E (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Jarvis (Marvel Movies) - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abduction, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asgardian Culture (Marvel), Cultural Differences, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Inadvertent Dubcon, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScaler3000/pseuds/SilverScaler3000
Summary: He looked up at Loki imploringly, eyes visibly wet. “Please, please tell me he’s wrong. Tell me you're not with me because you feel obligated.”Loki could only stare at him. “You have treated me far better than I could have hoped, Anthony. Considering everything I have done, I could not have asked for a better patron.”A continuation of EndlessStairway's 'Patronage'; Tony finds out that Loki had never been with him willingly.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 104
Kudos: 475





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EndlessStairway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessStairway/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Patronage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203663) by [EndlessStairway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessStairway/pseuds/EndlessStairway). 



Something was terribly wrong.

Loki had come to his and Anthony’s shared floor in the tower to find Anthony at the bar. This was not an unusual sight, as his patron often turned to spirits when something ailed him, but something was different. Loki could see it in the subtle way his hand shook as he poured himself a drink; the tense line of Anthony’s shoulders and the deep furrow in his brow. Something was very, very wrong.

“Anthony,” he hedged, his worry only heightened as his patrons' eyes met his own. They were full of anguish.

“Loki,” Anthony said, his voice cracking noticeably.

Loki frowned. “What has happened?” he asked, stepping closer. To his shock, his patron backed away from him. He halted immediately. “Have I done something wrong?” he questioned, frantic to fix whatever mistake he had made.

Anthony laughed, but the sound was far from happy. “You haven’t done anything,” he rasped, shaking his head. “Apparently I’ve fucked up, _again_.” He brought a hand to his face, pressing it harshly against his forehead whilst his fingers dug into his hair. “I can’t believe that you _let me_ -”

“What, Anthony?” Loki whispered. “Please, whatever is the matter?”

Anthony seemed to take a moment to compose himself, his hand falling back to his side and his expression becoming closed off. “I was talking to Thor today.”

Loki stiffened at the mention of his brother's name. “Has he found fault in the way you have treated me?” 

Leave it to Thor to make a bearable existence a living hel. What could he have possibly told Anthony to make him react this way? Perhaps the oaf had educated his patron on just how unnecessary the efforts he had given were; the affection and thoughtfulness that was wasted on him. What would come now, instead of their animated conversations in the workshop? Their shared meals and so-called ‘cuddles’ after Anthony had taken his due in bed? Perhaps he would finally degrade Loki the way he had expected him to in the first place.

“No,” Anthony laughed again, no less pained than the first time. “That’s just the thing, he was shocked that I was treating you so _well_. I mean, what the actual fuck!?” He began shouting at the end, and Loki winced. “He started spitting bullshit about ‘indentured servitude’ and how the reason you haven’t been talking to anyone else is that you’re not supposed to, cause surprise! You’re no better than my slave. It’s such a load of bullshit, right?” 

There was a tinge of desperation in his voice now, and Loki found himself frozen in place as Anthony rushed towards him, only stopping once they were nearly chest to chest.

He looked up at Loki imploringly, eyes visibly wet. “Please, please tell me he’s wrong. Tell me you're not with me because you feel obligated.”

Loki could only stare at him. “You have treated me far better than I could have hoped, Anthony. Considering everything I have done, I could not have asked for a better patron.”

Anthony paled significantly. “Thor used that word more than once. What the fuck does it mean?”

“It means you are my benefactor,” Loki explained slowly, sinking to his knees while keeping his gaze downward and respectful. “And that I am but your possession to use as you see fit. I’ve not associated with the others, as it is only proper. I belong solely to you.”

With those final words, Loki reached forward to undo Anthony’s belt. Immediately his hands were slapped away, and Loki reeled back in surprise, finally looking up at his patron. Anthony’s breathing had become panicked, and he stared down at Loki as if he had been doing something unthinkable. 

“No,” he said, his voice hard as steel even as tears began to fall down his cheeks. “No, I don’t own you. I don’t care what got you into this godforsaken situation, no matter what your all-daddy and all the other fucked up people on Ass-guard might think, you are your own person.”

Loki’s mouth fell open silently in his shock. “I don’t understand,” he said once he found his voice. “You enjoyed having me.”

That only seemed to upset Anthony more. “I enjoyed having a _lover_ ,” he stressed, practically choking on the word. “I thought you wanted this as much as I did.”

Loki stood, somewhat ungracefully, from the floor. “I have enjoyed much of our time together, Anthony, you need not feel guilty. Anything I would have otherwise objected to was a far better outcome than an eternity spent in a dungeon, and no less deserved.”

Anthony covered his mouth with his hand, doing little to hold in the agonized sound he made. Loki reached for him, wanting to offer comfort, but again his patron shied away from him. 

“Stop,” Anthony said sharply. “You need to leave, now.”

Loki felt his stomach turn to ice, and he swallowed harshly. “As you wish,” he murmured, turning around to do so. Anthony grabbed him by the forearm before he could walk away.

“No, not ‘as I wish’,” he snarled, making Loki turn to face him once more. “This isn’t about what I want. I fucking violated you!” 

A look came over his face, one Loki associated with Anthony making a hard decision. To his dismay, Anothony reached around his own neck and pulled off the sigil Loki had made for him. He then handed it to him, and Loki gripped it tightly in his hand.

“The penthouse is yours,” Anthony said quietly. “Do whatever you want with it, Jarvis will get you anything you need. I won’t be here to bother you anymore.”

Again, Loki’s mouth fell open in shock, and he could only watch as Anthony walked quickly to the elevator. Once he was inside, his patron turned around. 

“If you’re so desperate to take orders from me, here’s the only one that I ever want you to fucking listen to again. Take care of yourself, and do whatever the hell you wanna do.” More tears were sliding down his cheeks, and Loki thought he could see Anthony’s bottom lip trembling. “Be happy.”

With that, the elevator doors closed. 

It was then Loki finally registered that he was free. Anthony had given him permission to do whatever he pleased, meaning Asguard would not be able to find fault in any of his actions. The possibilities were limitless. 

So whyever did he clutch the sigil so tightly to his chest, as if it could fill the hole he now had there?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hi😅
> 
> OKAY! I know I disappeared, and I am so, SO SORRY, but I was caught up in school AND felt like I needed to read the rest of Endless' fic in order to be able to keep writing my own - which I had zero time to do in the first place. 
> 
> This fanfic from here on out is just going to be my interpreted extension of the first chapter. I hope you all like it!!!

Loki spent his first week of newfound freedom in complete isolation. Jarvis made sure to keep everyone away; not even Thor could get past the AI’s defenses (it had been entertaining to watch him get blasted from the rooftop with the ease of someone brushing away a gnat).

Loki knew he should have used those days crafting plans, or perhaps just reveling in his newfound ownership of himself. Instead, he fell into a depression that rivaled those he experienced in his early youth. He barely ate, did not bathe, and slept on one of the couches rather than in Anthony’s bed. He had taken to avoiding his former patron’s room entirely, in fact. It was too painful being in that space, knowing that Anthony did not plan on returning to it. If not for the security Jarvis provided here, and a lack of anywhere else to go, Loki would have left. Instead, he remained, and his days were spent ignoring how, slowly but surely, the penthouse lost Anthony’s presence in the man’s growing absence.

Norns help him but it was utterly pathetic. 

He could wreak havoc on this world and, according to Asguard’s oh so deliciously flawed laws, it would be completely within his jurisdiction. Anthony had left a figurative doorway wide open with his command of ‘doing whatever the hell he wanted’, and thus the odds were limitless. 

Yet Loki felt no urge to do _anything_.

  
  


He silenced Jarvis’s voice after the third night. The AI’s pestering had been tiring, what with their constant reminders and unwanted sarcasm. By the seventh night, however, Loki unmuted him. 

It was hardly the first time he had spent several days without any form of contact, but somehow this instance was more painful than any of the previous ones. The silence of the empty penthouse had proved to be unbearable, and, as much as he had avoided it, Loki wanted to know how Anthony fared. 

“How is he?” he asked, staring down at the city through the very window he had thrown Anthony out of and nearly killed only a few years prior. 

Jarvis was wise and did not lie to the god who held the namesake. “ _Mr. Stark is doing poorly. By comparison, his lack of self-care mirrors your own._ ” 

Oddly enough, Loki thought he sounded very much like Frigga, whenever she had scolded him and Thor as boys. “Where has he gone?” 

“ _He is currently with commander Rhodes, who has on multiple occasions tried to contact you._ ”

Loki blinked and turned away from the window. “Why?” he asked, already having a guess as to what exactly Anthony’s friend wanted. He must desire to see Loki suffer just as Anthony was.

“ _Mr. Stark has explained the situation thoroughly, and commander Rhodes expressed a desire to help you work through any mental trauma you may have sustained._ ”

Loki threw his head back and gave a sharp laugh. “Pathetic,” he said, storming angrily out onto the penthouse’s balcony. 

He walked to its edge, coming to a stop at the railing. He gripped it tightly, his breathing harsh and quick. The metal protested under his fingers, and he bent his head low enough so that his chin met his chest. He wondered briefly if any shield cameras were trained on him.

He decided that he could care less. 

“It is inconceivable,” he hissed. “However did I fail to conquer this miserable planet if its inhabitants are incapable of adequately dealing with a person such as I?”

“ _And what sort of person are you, Mr. Odinson?_ ”

“Don’t call me that!” Loki shouted, the railing now proceeding to _crack_ under his strength. If not for his newfound weakness that was a fear of falling from vast heights, he would have thrown himself from where he stood. 

“ _...apologies,_ ” Jarvis said after Loki had calmed down marginally. “ _By what name should I refer to you?_ ”

“ _Sir_ will be sufficient,” Loki muttered. It was what the artificial servant used to address Anthony, and would do.

“ _Very well, Sir,_ ” the AI responded dutifully. “ _What sort of person are you?_ ”

Loki shook his head, finally releasing the railing. It had twisted in his grasp, and now lay broken and in ruin; much like himself. “I am a monster,” he rasped, the statement nearly lost to the sounds of the city below. 

Jarvis heard it anyway. “ _Mr. Stark would say otherwise._ ”

“Stark is a fool.” 

“ _You believe that less than I do._ ”

Surprised by his answer, Loki blinked. A moment later he smirked. “Quirky little thing, aren’t you?”

“ _Of course._ ”

Loki walked back into the penthouse. “Perhaps you could enlighten me,” he mused, opening the fridge. As he had not bothered to have Jarvis procure him any new sustenance, his choices were lacking. 

“ _I will do my best, Sir. What is it that you want to know?_ ”

After a minute of debate, Loki selected an apple and closed the fridge. He tossed the fruit into the air before catching it in his hand again. Jarvis waited patiently as he sorted his thoughts.

“Why did Anthony react in such a way?” he finally asked. “Why has he-”

Abandoned me?

“-forsaken his home?” 

If Jarvis had caught on to the fact that the latter question was not the one Loki wished to ask, the AI did not comment. 

“ _It is as Mr. Stark told you, Sir, he had presumed that you were his lover consensually. Moreover, he considers you a dear friend. He feels that he has raped and abused you._ ”

Loki pursed his lips. His ‘friend’. 

Not a shield brother in the same sense Asgard held, perhaps, but certainly a companion. With that logic, he could understand Anthony’s feelings of wrongdoing. Loki may have even felt the same, had the circumstances been reversed. However, the fact that Anthony had not returned, had given Loki his own home and restored Loki’s freedom, spoke of something far more powerful than that. 

His pondering as to just _what_ that could be was interrupted by Jarvis.

“ _I think it imperative that you know, sir, that Mr. Stark has never allowed any of his previous partners, sans for Miss Potts, to live with him. He rarely shows that level of trust or consideration_.”

Loki frowned. “What are you saying?”

“ _Mr. Stark has not held a long-term relationship in several years. Before your coming, Miss Potts was the closest Mr. Stark has ever come to ‘settling down’ as it were_.”

The apple slipped from Loki’s hand as Jarvis’ meaning finally became clear, shock and disbelief numbing his body. “He was _courting_ me?” he rasped in disbelief.

“ _That is correct, sir._ ”

Loki felt dizzy rather suddenly, and he sat down heavily on the chair nearest to himself. “That cannot be,” he whispered.

“ _But it is, Sir._ ”

Loki shook his head. “I am nothing; a cast-out prince, unwanted by any and hated by all.”

“ _That is untrue._ ” 

“Oh spare me,” Loki sneered. “Do you really think you understand the ways of the heart, machine? Anthony does not _love me_ , and your programming is clearly faulty if you believe otherwise.”

For a very long moment, Jaris remained quiet. The silence stretched on for so long that Loki wondered if he had managed to insult the AI. Then, without a word, the elevator doors opened.

“ _There is an item in Dum-E’s possession that I believe will be of great interest to you,_ ” Jarvis said. Though their voice remained its same, monotone drawl, Loki thought he could detect an undercurrent of something more. “ _I insist that you go and retrieve it._ ”

Curious, Loki stood and walked to the elevator, stopping at its threshold. “How do I know that you don’t intend to deliver me to the Avenger’s?” he asked warily.

“ _I would have simply allowed them access here,_ ” Jarvis reasoned. When Loki did not move, the AI surprised him further by saying, “ _Please Sir, this is as much for Mr. Stark’s health and happiness as it is for your own._ ”

It was not the fact that Jarvis was looking out for Loki’s wellbeing but Anthony’s that made him step forwards.

A brief, tense, ride later, Loki found himself in Anthony’s workshop. Dum-E was waiting for him, chirping in greeting as Loki approached. It made him smile, having someone welcome him so openly.

“I have been told that you have something for me, little one,” Loki said, petting the bot’s claw affectionately. “May I have it, please?”

Dum-E chirped again, heading towards his charging station. While Loki watched, he pressed a button unnoticed to him before; disguised to look like part of the wall. A panel emerged, revealing a small, black box. With much more care than the ‘bot normally showed, Dum-E picked it up and slowly brought it over to Loki. 

Loki took it from them, though not without a small amount of trepidation. To his surprise, the box was soft, made with what appeared to be some sort of velvet. He removed the lid slowly, wondering if he truly wanted to know what was inside. Once its contents were revealed to him, he gasped in shock.

It was a silver band, an _engagement ring_ , covered with markings that Loki knew without looking matched the ones he had engraved on Anthony’s sigil.

Loki fell to his knees, shaking. 

“ _Mr. Stark had been planning on proposing to you the day he left,_ ” Jarvis explained quietly. “ _He had looked to Thor for Asgardian proposal customs, which was when the circumstances of your servitude were revealed to him._ ”

Loki sobbed, and Dum-E began patting his shoulder, whining in distress. Loki leaned against the ‘bot, shuddering uncontrollably. 

When he eventually found the strength to do so, he stood. “I will fix this,” he said fiercely, pulling Anthony’s sigil from a pocket dimension. He clutched it tightly in one hand and the engagement ring in the other, uttering an oath. “May the Norns strike me down if I fail.”


End file.
